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On Suicide
by Noctir (July 2013)

Suicide is a very controversial subject, to say the least. Just the word, itself, stirs up a lot of strong feelings in many people. There is something very powerful about the act of going against every natural instinct for self-preservation and making the decision to end your own life. Every creature on earth, no matter how large or small, will do anything in its power to continue to survive. The same is true for most humans. This explains why so many will opt to persist even if they are kept alive by machines and have absolutely zero quality of life. Yet the act of committing suicide is to cast away these chains and to overcome the dominant instinct that is a characteristic of every living thing on the planet. As well, it is to conquer the fear of the unknown; the fear of death that so frequently is the only reason a lot of people fight, claw, and scratch to prolong their existence. But some are more than willing to accept death. They not only look forward to it, they seek to hasten its arrival.

Of course, there are many reasons for suicide. Often, it is a matter of complete hopelessness; of enduring absolutely unbearable pain, whether it be mental or physical or both, with no end in sight. In such cases, killing oneself may be the only logical choice, regardless of how hard it is for others to accept this. At times, there may be no clear indications of why a person is miserable, as they may be very depressed despite not having such bad circumstances. Some people are simply more "awake" than the masses. They see the world around them from a completely different perspective. In fact, they see something entirely different from what most others see. That is not to say that they are more intelligent, though it is often the case. These people see through the illusion of this world and are horrified by it. What they see is the utter nightmare that this world truly is. Unconcerned with the trivial things that distract so many, they can feel the true emptiness of the modern age. They can sense the pointlessness of everything. No matter what we do, in the end, it is all meaningless. Living in this false realm is seen as a curse to such individuals. When coupled with deeper mental and/or physical agony, it may be too much to bear.

Suicide is looked down upon for many reasons. One of the major causes for this is that others are too afraid to follow the same path. Misery loves company and those who are too afraid to leave this world behind, and wish to cling to whatever false hopes they can, are bothered to see some that refuse to participate in the great lie. Usually, they do not even like to associate with someone that sees through it all and speaks the truth. It shakes their own fragile existence and the untruths that it is built upon. They fear those who take things into their own hands and end their lives because, deep down, they know that they could never do such a thing. This also cheapens life, in a sense, shattering yet another illusion for those that want to think that human life is so precious and special. For someone to reject this "gift" and to go into the unknown, it somehow makes those left behind feel even more weak and afraid. They come up with many excuses, telling suicidal people to think of those that they will be saddened by their choice. Yet what are those people doing to make things better? It is asinine to think that someone continue to suffer and exist in pure hell just for the purpose of sparing others the temporary sadness that would come as a result of their suicide. Anyone that truly cares, if they cannot help a suicidal person, should at least be understanding enough to not let their selfish desires get in the way.

Another explanation for suicide being looked down upon is simply because there are a lot of people that do it for no reason. Or, rather, they do it for the wrong reason. I do not agree with those that end their lives based on nothing more than an extreme emotional reaction to something. A teenage girl that kills herself because a classmate called her ugly or a young boy that shoots himself because his first girlfriend dumped him would both be examples of senseless deaths. They often call suicide a permanent solution for temporary problems. In those cases, that is very accurate. However, when a person has problems that simply have no solution, it is a different matter altogether. Even the most idiotic people sort of understand when a terminally ill person chooses to die. Unfortunately, there are other instances where a person is completely hopeless and has no chance for a decent life, but they are scorned because they don't happen to have a recognizable disease. Sometimes, a person simply realizes that there is no hope. Even someone of fairly average intelligence should be able to recognize patterns and to use logic to predict what will happen. When one has been trapped in an endless cycle of suffering, for years and years, even a complete idiot can realize that it is not likely to change. Obviously, trying different approaches to solve the problems and alleviate the misery might be beneficial. One should not opt for suicide without trying everything they possibly can. Once all of those options are exhausted, reaching out to others for help is the next step, though degrading. Whether begging help from friends, family, social welfare institutions, etc. these things should at least be attempted. If outside assistance still fails to change the circumstances in any possible manner, then it is rather safe to say that the course is unalterable and that one can either accept their fate and suffer until they gradually grow old and die, or they can take things into their own hands and still do whatever necessary to end the agony.

It may be hard for many to accept, but sometimes dead is better. After suffering a lifetime of misfortunes; i.e. physical and mental abuse, molestation, neglect, homelessness, abandonment, injuries, constant physical pain, severe depression, lack of friends or family to provide any sort of safety net and so on, one may rightfully look at the evidence and conclude that nothing is going to get better. Year after year of things only getting worse, with no sign of improvement and no new ideas or strategies and no one to offer help, would appear to indicate that one could expect only more of the same. Naysayers will often point out that they know of someone that came from an even more brutal background and still managed to overcome it all to make a pleasant life. It may be true that "Mr. X", down the street or on the other side of the planet, had worse circumstances and an even more difficult life. Some have it better than others and some have it worse. Yet that does not change anything. Not all people are equipped with the same tools and coping mechanisms, for one. In addition, nearly every person that I have ever heard such a tale from also went on to say how they would never have survived to make it if one or more people had not helped them along the way. Whether with advice or support or more concrete forms of assistance, there is almost always some other person that intervened and aided them in their rise from the abyss. When someone is completely alone, lost in the dark with no idea where to go or what to do or who to turn to, only misled by liars and those who would take advantage of the situation rather than help... there comes a point where that person should assess the situation and to decide if there is any chance of repairing things or if continuing to exist will only prolong their pointless suffering. For those that are weak-minded and fearful, it may be about quantity over quality. Even serving a life sentence in prison and being raped on a daily basis may be preferable to death for most. Still, some people simply cannot accept this. Surviving just to suffer, with no chance of escaping this hell, is just not worth it. Increasing pain and deepening depression, with no real hope of bettering things is pure hell and is no way to live. In fact, it is not even worth being called "life". So then, if one is not truly alive, is it even possible for them to die?

When existence is so empty, save for the pain, agony, misery, despair, sorrow, loss, hopelessness, hunger, solitude, homelessness and so on, is it not better to put an end to this? For those that have used their brains to their fullest extent and still failed to solve such problems and to improve their conditions, as well as reached out to anyone and everyone that they possibly could (to no avail), I think it is perfectly acceptable for them to then consider the only option that they have left. It is not even a matter of seeking happiness and love and fulfillment and success and all of that. The point is that if someone is in constant torment -- physically, mentally and emotionally -- there is always one final option when all others have failed. Death solves all problems. Like the title of the well-known Dissection instrumental says, "no dreams breed in breathless sleep". When death has come, all nightmares end. The torment is over. For some, there are other methods of escaping the countless horrors of this existence. Yet for others, there is only one path to lead them beyond this hell.

Copyright 2006-2021, Noctir